the-unwritten-vista
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Thursday. 19 March 2009.
Current Mood: Silent.
5.27pm.
I revised and complete many of my holidays homework today(: Additional mathematics is starting to kill me, but I must put in my own effort. The remedial session yesterday by Mr Loh was very useful, better than my tuition sessions. I have so many subjects that I need to improve on.
Oh, I came up with the prefect way to get the things I wanted. So hello my *smile*shoes and long wanted bag(:I lived the past 3 month in grave regret for not buying them when I was in HK and turing down such gifts, so I shall get back what I should have initially. I really felt like stabbing myself in the heart when I saw the shoes and such bag in Singapore, and worse when people in my school are using such items, thanks they are not in my class. I felt so stupid for turing down the offer of the Outdoor bag and shoes, which my cousin offered to give me as gifts): This pang of regret haunted me for the past 3 months:X Daddy will get them for me when he goes to HK next month(: I found out a way to get these two expensive items free, thanks to my family who is always willing to provide me with whatever I requested(: The two items totaled up to around two hundred, but it's really worth the price(:
(Skip the part below as it is purely rantings(: And I managed to not cry today.)
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Have you ever gave much thought to your past and future? Or even perhaps your next life? I always used to think, what would I be willing to give for to get everything in my next life? Would I want beauty, fame, brains, talent or wealth? But after pounding over such issues, I decided the best after all was just to be happy. And for me happiness is just simply being at home, the home I ought to be at(: Sometimes, I wondered, would my life be happy or sad if I were to grow up at where I should? Would my life be completely different, at least I would not be as good in English as I am now and on the other hand much better in Chinese. I would be writing traditional Chinese instead of simplified Chinese. But would I still be who I am today? Maybe I were to be knocked down by a car by the age of ten in HK, and yet being here saved me from this fate? What would I be? Maybe if I were to grow up back at home, I would have a much better taste in fashion and have many much more handsome guys as classmates. Not trying to insult the guys classmate of mine, but I seriously think HK guys are so so so much handsome and cuter(: If I were back at home, I would be a secondary 4 student now, and I would be stressed by the coming O levels. Yes, HK too have O levels and alike us if you do well, you can continue to further your secondary life as a sec 5 and 6, we call them form 5 and 6. I would be in the ideal uniform I always wanted to wear, the winter uniform, just like that of UK. Home seems so far yet so near, it was an impossible dream. Home is like heaven to me, a hard place to be, yet the perfect place I wanted and should be at. Home is the love of my life, I always felt safe and carefree, happy and nice at home. At home, I would always be smiling at the simplest things, I will always get whatever I wanted. People would treat me nicely, strangers seemed so familiar, everyone of us seems to make a big family.
I really hate those people who shamelessly come or smuggle to HK daily, what rights do they have to come to HK and even ask the government to feed them? So what if their children are born in HK, they have an official IC so? I also have an HKSAR IC, with three stars one some more(: They come to HK just so they can get free money and their children can hopefully become part of HK. But sorry, due to their poverty, they can only afford to attend some band 3 schools in HK, so naturally what good would these poorly educated people bring to HK?
Who I really pity is those who are HK children but brought up in Mainland. They have to come down daily to attend school in HK, passing through the border daily, between HK and China. We share a fate of somewhat the same. I hate to think whose is better or worse.
Holding back tears had already been a part of life I am used to,
and what would I give for to get what I want?
posted by vanessa loves you # 5:21 PM 
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