the-unwritten-vista
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wednesday. 18 March 2009.
Current Mood: Sick... HOME SICK):
I have no idea at all what has gotten into me recently or what had changed me so much. All I can say is I am very not happy now, depressed more like, I can possibly break down any single moment now, my home sickness is getting worse by the second. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it really does for me at least. Maybe due to the holidays with me nothing much to do in particular, I had a lot more to myself, to let me do a lot of unnecessary thinking. I would always be pounding over useless stuffs, assumed questions, things that would never be what I wish for. Even as I am typing now, tears are starting to well up in my eyes, ready to flow down any moment, I am trying me back to hold them back, to put up a strong front before everyone. But no one will ever understand how I feel, they will never experience what I have, even maybe my HK friends in Singapore.
These school bags are so hit and popular in HK that every corner of the street you turn, you are sure to find students wearing them. From private to well-know or even international secondary schools in HK, almost 99% of the students are carrying such a backpack as their school bag. For those who are not using such school bags, it's because they are using Louis V., Gucci or Prada as their daily school bag. So you can picture how crazy these Outdoors secondary school bag trend is in in HK(: 
I have no idea at all why such a typical school bag is so popular back at home. It's not a compulsory bag or what, maybe just some idols used it? But from what I know, students at HK carry Outdoor bag just because everyone is carrying such a bag, thus it is cool and hit to do so-.- One Outdoor bag cost at least HKD500, around SGD100 each, quite expensive for such a bag.But by hook or by crook, I am going to get myself one as well(:
As far as I know, Outdoor bag are not for sale in Singapore(: So that means I will be using an unique school bag of no other, unlike those people in HK practically carrying the same bag. The condition is so worse to such an extend that along a street, all the students might be carrying Outdoors school bag and maybe 40% of them are using the same size and colour model. Yes, all HK secondary school students are using them. Those who went to HK in the recent months would have witnessed this craze. I want to be part of the HK secondary school student trend too(: Such bags are starting to arrive in Singapore, but sadly they are not Outdoor one and too cheap for it.
The tear just flowed down without my littlest knowledge,but I have gotten used to it.
I just never knew why must it be me,
there are so many thousand of billions of people in HK,
why must I be put in such a state, in such a place,
why must the world be so unfair,
why am I at a point of no return now?
Why must it be me,
why not anyone else,
why must I face such a fate?
Why nobody can understand me,
why must others add salt to my wound,
why can I not restart all over again,
why must I be the one?
Why am I fated to be like this,
why must my childhood be filled with tears of breaking away from my beloved one,
why can I not lead the simple life I always wanted,
why can other people have happiness and not me,
why not me?
Why, Why, Why?
But at this stage, I don't think knowing the answer or not will ever make a difference to me. I shall stay cheerful and happy, throw away all my unhappiness from this moment on(: Over this 10 plus years, I have learnt how to heal myself, all on my own. I can only say my childhood was never full nor happy.
posted by vanessa loves you # 9:49 PM 
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